The Pressure to Be ‘Okay’: Why We Hide Our Struggles
“Smiling outside. Screaming inside. But still showing up that’s strength too.”
We live in a world where we are expected to hold it together, no matter what. We say “I’m fine” while silently battling storms inside. And somehow, pretending to be okay has become easier than admitting we're not. I’ve Been There Too. I remember sitting in a classroom once, tears threatening to spill, but all I said when someone asked was, “I’m just tired.” That was easier than explaining the weight; I couldn’t even understand myself. And that’s the thing- many of us are walking through life carrying invisible loads but trying hard to look “normal.”
Why We Hide Our Struggles
We’ve been told crying is weakness, and vulnerability is a flaw. So when we feel like falling apart, we put on a smile and keep going, just to avoid judgment. Social media is full of perfect smiles, goals achieved, and lives that seem put-together. We compare our behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel-and that makes our struggle feel out of place. Sometimes we hide how we feel because we think: “They already have enough to deal with.” But silencing yourself doesn’t make the pain go away-it just makes it louder in your head.We rush to distract ourselves-scrolling, overworking, staying busy-just to avoid facing what hurts.
But healing only begins when we stop running and start feeling without judgment.
So, What Can We Do Instead?
- Talk to someone- a friend, therapist, or even yourself in a journal.
- Be gentle with yourself. You don’t have to earn rest.
- Break the habit of pretending. Vulnerability is strength.
- Ask others how they really are. They might be waiting for someone to care.
Try This:
Take a deep breath. Now write down one thing you’ve been pretending doesn’t bother you. You don’t have to share it but let it out. Let it exist. You deserve that space.
Things to Tell Yourself Today:
1. It’s okay to not be okay today.
2. I am healing, even when I feel stuck.
3. I don’t have to carry everything alone.
Before You Leave…
Have you ever faked a smile to get through the day? Comment “yes” if you’ve done it too-I promise you’re not alone. And if you feel safe, share what helped you feel lighter.
Share this with someone who might be holding in more than they show. Let’s remind the world that being human is never a weakness.
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